Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
