I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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