My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
