Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize