Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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