i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
