i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
