The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
