I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
