Define "chronic" masturbator.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
