it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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