i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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