Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
