Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
