Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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