just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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