I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
