you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
