My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize