yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Boobs speak an international language.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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