what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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