Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
