i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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