I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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