but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
