Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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