If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
