mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it's like heaven, but drunker
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
