Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
