i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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