Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize