Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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