At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
