Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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