my sisters under your porch take her home
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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