Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
