just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
