I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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