After last night, I could never be a politician.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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