Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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