And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
