He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
