Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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