i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
