I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
