Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
