craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
