Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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