Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
