pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
