thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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