so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
