I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize