The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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