I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
