The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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