i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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