Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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