i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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