Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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