Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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