Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
