im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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