so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
